This weekend, I attended an Interfaith conference at my alma mater, Williams College. The title of the conference was “Forgiving the Unforgivable”. As Christians, we may think of forgiveness in terms of God’s mercy, in terms of our need to forgive others or ourselves, or in relation to the challenge of guilt we may experience when we need to ask for forgiveness. On the surface, forgiveness is one of the most welcoming aspects of the Christian experience. We enter into the body of Christ full of the knowledge that Christ forgave friends and strangers alike. When a woman considered by many to be sinful came to Jesus to anoint his feet, Jesus told her, “Your sins are forgiven” (Luke 7:48). God’s promise of forgiveness to us is powerful. It is a promise of reconciliation and restoration.
When we speak about forgiveness, we have to be certain to differentiate between God’s forgiveness and human forgiveness, because, simply put, we are not God. We are finite creatures with the need to be healed and whole, a gift that God alone can provide. Yet we are called into relationship with one another in Christian community. So what does forgiveness look for us?
Forgiveness is a process. Contrary to the popular mantra “forgive and forget,” humans have a very difficult time forgetting. We hold on to painful things and refuse to let them go. Jesus told Peter that forgiveness is such a worthy act that it demands repetition:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. (Matthew 18:21-22)
We try to forgive, but we are drawn back into the pain of the wrong done, and it leads us toward spite, anger, and even hatred. These emotions can hinder our well-being and even our relationship with God. Forgiveness can be a work in progress. How often do we really bring ourselves to forgive someone seventy-seven times? So often, I have found myself assuming I have finished the task of forgiving someone only to realize that I am still harboring a grudge. Forgive again! Forgive again and again and then do it seventy-four more times. Maybe then you will be where you need to be. There is a peace in finding real forgiveness, whether we find ourselves as the one extending forgiveness or the one receiving it.
Forgiveness, however, cannot always be our choice. We have a God who gave Himself up to death on a cross and up until the last moments of His earthly life in the person of Christ Jesus promised forgiveness even to criminals. This is our God, whether we like it or not. This message may be a real comfort to you, or it may be particularly disturbing. And while we are certainly called to forgive one another, forgiveness cannot and should not look uniform. When churches encourage children to forgive adults in their lives who have sexually abused them without seeking healing, restoration, and safety for that child, we miss the point of forgiveness entirely. When we want to get to forgiveness too quickly in conversations about slavery or colonialism without acknowledging the present legacies that remain to be dealt with, we do a disservice to the power of healing in true forgiveness.
We seek this “cheap grace” from each other, and we seek it from God. But forgiveness is not an object that can be given and received. It is relational. It exists in the healing of human hearts and the transformation of human relationships. It exists in the formation of new understandings, new boundaries, and new strengths. This is the powerful, redeeming work of the Holy Spirit worked out in our lives today.
So ask yourself, who is someone you find hard to forgive or trust? If it is a person you feel ready to try to forgive, ask for the Spirit’s help, and keep asking. If you are not ready, offer up your pain, your anger, your hate, to God. God can handle it.
Merciful Savior, you are the promise of our salvation. You call us out of sin and into righteousness. Let us cease to be a cause of pain to any living creature—to one another, to animals, to the Earth whose abundance we all share. Forgive us for the sins we are not even aware of in our lives, and help us to forgive others and ourselves. You are the Healer and Reconciler of all people. Make us whole in You by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Amen.
Contributed by Veronica
Monday April 25, 2016
Liturgical Year C: Week 22
Liturgical Color: white
Sunday Gospel reading: cEaster5
Fifth Sunday of Easter Sunday