I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. . . . Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:15, 24-25 NRSV)

One of the true gifts of the Lutheran spiritual tradition is its utter honesty about the human struggle. We did not derive it by ourselves. We received this honesty from people like St. Paul. Part of the realism of the Christian life is the fact that, within our own hearts, the Word of God comes to meet sin, death, and the devil. Martin Luther often referred to his Anfectung, which can be roughly translated "spiritual torment." Our Islamic brothers and sisters even have a theological term for the inner struggle between good and evil within a person's heart. They call it the Greater Jihad.

Even seasoned veterans of discipleship experience this struggle articulated by St. Paul. One might ask: "If you are confidently saved by God's grace through faith, then isn't the internal struggle with sin over?" I often ask myself: "Dan Whitener, why do you still struggle with the same issues of ego and self-consciousness well beyond the date of your baptism into the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ? Isn't that spiritual warfare over for you?" But then we need to pause and really think about this struggle. Isn't the consciousness of the struggle between good and evil within our own hearts a sign of spiritual growth? Isn't the awareness that I never grow out or away from the constant need for God's grace in the face of evils both beyond and within me a sign of spiritual growth? Yes, indeed!

Six-year old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten. Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad.

He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove and he didn't know how the stove worked! Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky. And just then he saw Dad standing at the door. Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess.

Many times we feel like Brandon (and St. Paul). Good intentions backfire into big messes. What we intend to do in God's name and for the sake of our neighbor gets bogged down within the swamp of our own egos. Thankfully, St. Paul does not end with the struggle. He ends with a determined solution not of our own will's invention or intention: "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" We have divine rescue from this civil war within our hearts.

Let us pray. . . . Lord Christ, you came into the world as one of us, and suffered as we do. As we go through the trials of life, help us to realize that you are with us at all times and in all things; that we have no secrets from you; and that your loving grace enfolds us for eternity. In the security of your embrace we pray. Amen (ELW, p. 84)

Contributed by Pastor Dan
Sunday July 13, 2008
Liturgical Year A Week 33
Sunday Gospel reading:
Lectionary 15 (Proper 10)
Sixth Sunday after Pentecost