And now you see me on my way to Jerusalem in captivity to the Spirit; I have no idea what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit, in town after town, has made it clear to me that imprisonment and persecution await me. But I do not place any value on my own life, provided that I complete the mission the Lord Jesus gave me - to bear witness to the good news of God's grace ... Acts 20:22-24

When was the last time you thought to yourself, "I do not place any value on my own life"? If you did, the very next thought to occur to you would probably be, "I need help!" If you expressed a thought like that to a family member or friend, they would most likely be extremely concerned and then probably proceed to see whether or not you were serious. If so, they would likely suggest intervention by a mental health practitioner. What is the picture painted in Acts? First, an individual out of control - "I have no idea what will happen to me." Second, masochistic tendencies - "Imprisonment and persecution await me." And finally - someone with a death wish.

Let 's back up and set the scene. Paul, after his conversion, had been to Damascus (They were keeping watch day and night in order to kill him. - Acts10:24), Jerusalem (They became determined to kill him. - 10:29); Antioch (They stirred up a persecution against Paul and Barnabas and expelled them.- 13:50); Iconium (A move was made by Gentiles, as well as Jews, to make attacks on them and to stone them. - 14:5); Lycaonia (They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the town, thinking he was dead. - 14:19); as well as Philippi (The magistrates had them stripped and ordered to be flogged and they were given many lashes and then thrown into prison. - 16:22) among several other stops. Finally Paul reached Ephesus, where he also encountered resistance, but persevered in helping organize the church. Now we read in Acts that he is ready to depart for Jerusalem again, where once more he will be beaten and arrested. (They seized Paul and dragged him out of the temple ... while they were setting about killing him ... soldiers and centurions charged down on the crowd, who stopped beating Paul ... he took Paul into custody and had him bound with two chains. - 21:30-33).

Paul clearly was a man who did not value his own life! He also was clearly a man on a mission, as we say in common parlance even today. Paul knew the price he would pay for his evangelism, and he accepted it willingly. How about us? We want to know where we are headed, we want to be in control, and we definitely don't want to go to prison. We certainly do not want to be beaten, flogged or stoned.

Above all, we are taught from an early age to value ourselves and our lives. Look out for number one. Paul painted the opposite picture. He did not live for himself; he lived to bear witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ. He was willing to suffer any hardship as long as it was in conformance with his mission. He lived out what Jesus himself had said, "For whoever saves his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." This is not a man with a mental illness; this is a man with his priorities truly straight. The world may not think so, but as Christians we know better. Most of us will not be called to undergo anywhere near the kind of trials that Paul underwent. It is not right to seek suffering, persecution, or martyrdom for their own sake, removed from the context of a truly necessary witness to the faith. However, we can all think of the times in our daily lives when we are called to forget about ourselves and live for Jesus Christ and bear witness to the good news of God's grace. The next time an opportunity like that comes up, remember Paul's story, to embolden yourself with the courage to act in the self-forgetful way that Paul might have acted nearly 2000 years ago.

Lord, we are afraid. We are afraid to suffer, we are afraid of the unknown. It always seems easier to avoid conflict. The superhuman strength of your apostle Paul seems so unattainable for us. In times of trial, when it is our turn to bear witness to the gospel of Jesus Christ, send us the Spirit to empower us to press on, to be part of the Church's mission to be a light to the nations. We can never be sure when these times will occur, be there for us when they do. Amen

Contributed by David M.
Published Sunday October 9, 2005
Week 46 of Liturgical Year A