(Jesus said), "For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." ... Matthew 6:14-15

(The scribes and the Pharisees said to him), "Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such. What do you say about her?" (Jesus said), "Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." ... John 8:4-5,7b

What can be more difficult than losing a child? Psychologists say the only thing comparable may be losing one's spouse, although some disagree. At any rate, the degree of difference between the two is small. Either way, it is a tragedy of the first order. Does the means by which one loses a loved one make a difference? Again, most would say yes. When the cause of death is by violent means, without going into all the varying shades of what constitutes violence, the loss may be the most difficult of which to come to terms. Let me go a step further and say that death by murder may be the hardest from which to recover. So I have laid out the scenario. In my opinion, the loss of a child by means of murder may be the most difficult thing anyone would have to deal with on this earth.

Do I have personal experience in this matter? Yes and no. The closest I have come is losing, at age 23, my best friend in a traffic accident where the other driver, a trucker, was completely at fault. I had been with my friend only hours before the accident. But I am also able to relate through the experience of my friend's parents, who did lose their son through violent means.

What brought this to mind some 18 years after the fact? Just minutes ago on TV I saw the mother of a young girl who had been murdered. The killer had just recently been sentenced to the death penalty. The mother was complaining that she would still have to wait so long for the execution to take place. There would be so many appeals that this could take years. She wanted the killer dead now, she said. She didn't want to wait. Her daughter is never coming back. The pain was palpable. What can anyone say to a parent in this situation?

I remember when my friend was killed, how after the facts were made known, there were some who hinted at retribution towards the truck driver. Perhaps he was criminally at fault for being on the road for so long. He ran a red light. Thinking about it now, perhaps he could have at least been found liable in civil court.

I remember that my friend's parents didn't even want to talk about him. They were unconcerned with this issue. They only were concerned with the loss of their son. They didn't want to know about the trucker.

Am I saying that they thought in a forgiving way towards him? No. I don't remember that. But I do remember that their only concern was grieving for their son, possible revenge or lashing out at what ultimately was the cause of the accident never was discussed. I recall someone saying that pursuit along those lines would not bring back my friend.

Many people who support the death penalty talk about justice, the rule of law, concepts deeply embedded in civilization for thousands of years. We as a country, earlier this month, executed the 1,000th person since the death penalty was reinstated in 1977. Many of the victims' families in these crimes express the same feelings and emotions I witnessed on TV this morning. For me, it is clear that Jesus, whom we call Lord, spoke on this issue. While technically upholding the penalty of death in the Mosaic Law, he functionally prevented it from being carried out by telling us that we as sinners cannot carry out the punishment. None of us are able. Even more poignantly, we must forgive the sins of others if we are not to be held to account ourselves.

I don't remember the last time I saw someone on the news expressing forgiveness for a murderer. Most Americans would consider someone taking an attitude of forgiveness towards a murderer to be foolish, weak, and unworthy. I would say, "Yes, but that is the scandal of the cross. Jesus Christ died in this scandalous way -- foolish as a King, weak as a man, and as unworthy as a Messiah -- putting death to death so that we don't have to kill in the name of justice anymore."

Our Father, forgive us our sins, as we also have forgiven those who sin against us. As our flesh is weak, we cannot do this. But through your Spirit, we can be empowered to do so in order that your Kingdom will come on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen

Contributed by David M.
Published Sunday December 11, 2005
Week 3 of Liturgical Year B